I had a job that was high pressure, in an industry that I hated, working for people whose values conflicted with what I believed in. I was in a deep depression, had horrible anxiety and every night after work I would bring home take out, binge eat and then immediately throw up.
I finally quit that job - walked away without another job to go to. Eventually my mental health improved, and the bulimia ended.
percent of boys in grades nine and ten reported anabolic steroid use in a
2002 study, showing that body preoccupation and attempts to alter one’s
body are issues affecting both men and women.
Boyce, W. F. (2004). Young people in Canada: their health and well-being. Ottawa, Ontario: Health Canada.
Nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness – it is
estimated that 10% of individuals with AN will die within 10 years of the
onset of the disorder.
Sullivan, P. (2002). Course and outcome of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. In Fairburn, C. G. & Brownell, K. D. (Eds.). Eating Disorders and Obesity (pp. 226-232). New York, New York: Guilford.
girls who diet are at 324% greater risk for obesity than those who do not
(Stice et al., 1999).
Today I still have a complicated relationship with food. And I still feel some shame. But I also understand that an eating disorder is a mental disorder – an illness. I am trying to focus on healthy habits and making positive choices that will have a lasting impact on my mental and physical wellbeing. It’s not easy – I follow the adage of “one day at a time.”
I share this story - and my other experiences with mental illness - so that the other person (maybe you) feels just a little less alone. And it also helps me to chip away at the shame and embrace the fact that the hard times have shaped who I am today.