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Showing posts from 2011

"Looking Back, Looking Forward, Being Present"

They say that there are only two certainties in life: taxes and death. Well, I would add that time has a way of marching on, no matter what.

Every year it seems that as soon as Christmas Day has come and gone we are immediately inundated with reminders of the "year that was", with retrospectives in the media of the headline makers from the past 12 months. We are urged to make new year's resolutions. Lose weight! Exercise more! Don't eat chocolate! It's a natural time for reflection on the past and to dream about the future - one door is closing and another is opening.

For me, 2011 brought my descent into the darkest depths of depression. Already suffering in late 2010, by April I was in a very dark free-fall. For many months it was a matter of daily survival for me and time felt like my enemy. I was simply trying to make it to the next day and I would often think, just hang on for the next hour. Sometimes I thought, I just don't know if I can do this. I wou…

"Happiness Is a Warm Puppy"

While Christmas shopping this year I made a special trip to Urban Outfitters to find a particular item from my mom's Christmas list: Rosebud Salve. As I entered the store my eye was immediately drawn to a square, thin, bright pink book entitled, "Happiness Is a Warm Puppy." For those of us who were children in the '60's and '70's and grew up with the Peanuts gang, this book, with it's classic cover illustration of Lucy hugging Snoopy, is iconic. When I saw it I was instantly transported back to my childhood visits to my Grandparents' home where I would always pick up their dog-eared copy and flip through it. It was an immediate, comforting, happy, and loving memory.

So why is this important? Why am I writing about this in my first blog entry? As a person who has waged a war on depression for the better part of 20 years I have, at times, forgotten that I was loved. Or loveable. I have often forgotten how to laugh and smile. I have many times lost …