Wednesday, 9 October 2013
"Down the Rabbit Hole"
It's been awhile since I last wrote. Where have I been? Back down the rabbit hole. That damn rabbit hole leads to a dark place. A place that I have become well acquainted with over the years. A place that I hate visiting.
When I stopped falling I seemed to land with a thud. And, quite frankly, I was scared. I had tried to go back to work but after two weeks it was simply impossible for me to continue. I couldn't function and the anxiety was, once again, overwhelming. I felt devastated, like I was a failure. I wanted to be at work, living a normal life - not merely existing.
It has taken me a few weeks to regain some equilibrium. I feel like I can breathe again and I don't feel like I am walking through wet cement all the time anymore. Am I well yet? No but I made the choice that I always make. I chose to keep moving forward, even if that means that right now it's just small steps. At least it's forward motion.
This post is a step in that direction. Not as long as they usually are, it's a small personal victory. I may not be where I want to be right now, but I am getting there. Slowly but surely.
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