Wednesday, 9 October 2013

"Down the Rabbit Hole"

Inspirational quote
 
It's been awhile since I last wrote. Where have I been? Back down the rabbit hole. That damn rabbit hole leads to a dark place. A place that I have become well acquainted with over the years. A place that I hate visiting.
 
When I stopped falling I seemed to land with a thud. And, quite frankly, I was scared. I had tried to go back to work but after two weeks it was simply impossible for me to continue. I couldn't function and the anxiety was, once again, overwhelming. I felt devastated, like I was a failure. I wanted to be at work, living a normal life - not merely existing.
 
It has taken me a few weeks to regain some equilibrium. I feel like I can breathe again and I don't feel like I am walking through wet cement all the time anymore. Am I well yet? No but I made the choice that I always make. I chose to keep moving forward, even if that means that right now it's just small steps. At least it's forward motion.
 
This post is a step in that direction. Not as long as they usually are, it's a small personal victory. I may not be where I want to be right now, but I am getting there. Slowly but surely.
 
KB xo

7 comments:

  1. Each step is an important one...and you made one with this post! Keep it up and do not be discouraged, you are getting there.

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  2. I am sorry to hear you are down the rabbit hole. I know that dark place all too well. For me, small steps are all there are. Big steps for me have never happened, only an accumulation of small steps. I am glad to know that a blog post is a step for you. I hope it is a sign of more light in your life. Hugs from across the Rockies.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Danielle. I'll take hugs across the Rockies anytime!

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    2. Actually, I was on your side of the Rockies on the weekend (in the east Kootenays), so I guess the hugs would have been bigger as they didn't have to travel quite so far. (Ok, so silliness is one thing that helps me, so I thought I would pass it on).

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  3. welcome back, as you already know I missed you and your letters(blogs). I was also concerned

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Dave. It's nice to be missed and to have someone check in. :-) I am on the mend, though!

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