Monday, 21 July 2014

"The Prince and Perspective"

Always wear your invisible crown
When I was a child my proudly Scottish Grandpa Bill always used to tell me that our family was related to the Queen. We were cousins, of course! So, a year ago I eagerly awaited the arrival of a new cousin, a brand new British prince. Along with millions I waited in front of the television. When would the new baby be born? Would it be a boy or a girl? Secretly I hoped for a girl.

Silly and time wasting. That's what some of you are thinking, I am sure. Who cares about the birth of a new prince? A baby born into a life of privilege. Turns out, I do.

Full disclosure, I have been a long time Anglophile - I adore all things British and I idolized Princess Diana when I was a girl. But this birth played a role in my life and in my well-being in an important way. It shifted my focus from my sadness and depression - it took my mind off the horrible stories that play out on the evening news each night. This birth gave me something to be excited about at a time in my life when absolutely nothing brought me joy and I rarely smiled.

I am writing about this a year later because I have the gift of perspective that time often brings. In the twelve months since little Prince George was born, we have each gone through milestones. He learned to walk - I learned how to be happy and whole again.

It has been a slow process; excruciating at times. I wanted to be well again so badly that I refused to give up. I have tried medication, cognitive behavioural therapy, exercise, social connection, and more. The secret weapon that cures all? It isn't any of the things that I just mentioned - it's perseverance.

As I thought about what I wanted to write about today I re-read my last post. I was coming out of a brief dip back into depression. I was so frustrated because after almost a year I was mostly depression free. To take what feels like a step back is awful. But a month later and I really do feel like I have opened yet another new chapter - a happy, optimistic one. A new chapter full of possibility and opportunity.

Will I have another recurrence? Maybe. The scientific evidence says it's likely. But I am going to keep fighting like hell during my periods of wellness to mitigate that risk. One of the things that I will continue to do is to keep the negative influences in life at bay. The horrific plane crash over the Ukraine is a perfect example. My heart breaks a million times over for the tragedy of it all. But I also need to protect my heart and my psyche.

Instead of dwelling on the horror in the world I choose to focus on the good. I will keep doing what I can to make my world a bit brighter. I wonder what kind of birthday cake my little cousin will have on his first birthday? Happy birthday, George. I think I'll celebrate with a cupcake in your (our) honour.

KB xo

No comments:

Post a Comment

"To New Beginnings"

Christmas and Hanukkah are over. The new year is just around the corner. Most of us are considering how we are going to get back on track...